Penina, Kowabuze?

 This morning, while I was cleaning, I picked up some old letters lying around my house. Though all my letters are treasures, one distinct closing line turned my whole morning around. It contained the phrase, “ the possible is always better than the actual”, which was like receiving a slap in the face and $100 at the same time. I found this phrase liberating this time around, this particular morning, hung-over on sad thoughts and ready to shelve them for a while.

I think this phrase is very relevant for PCVs who may be suffocating in their ambition to do good while missing their homeland. For me, it is a reminder to be present and to be realistic. My daydreams of my past, others’ presents and our futures are not constructive but destructive. They are addicting, like staying inside and hiding from what I am afraid of. Today is my “dry season cleaning”, another Saturday at site that I will just love. This Saturday brings the market, laundry, sun, Tressa and time to observe my community and myself. Saturday is my favorite day of the week as it seems to shield me from the abrasive staring and instead bring me peace. I’ve let the dishes, stacks of letters and cobwebs accumulate: it’s time to take care of them.

(The dry season has replaced the wet season and sorghum has replaced all the corn)

At our recent In-Service Training (IST) in Gisenyi, my headmaster told me I was “umukobwa mwiza”, an endearing term meaning “good girl.” Along with this, he told me how every single headmaster that attended the training was happy with their PCVs. This was very reaffirming for all of us who struggle with lack of feedback and feelings of inadequacy. IST was the most fun I have had in a long time. During this week with my American colleagues, I found that freedom I have been craving at site. If I wasn’t laughing with other PCVs, my mind was brewing new ideas to take back to site. All the volunteers were able to share horror stories, common complaints, common struggles and teaching feats. We had trainings in teaching techniques, language lessons and presentations from outsiders including an incredible morning with the foundation Project Wet. A big topic of discussion was our secondary projects. Every Peace Corps volunteer is expected to initiate a sustainable secondary project apart from his or her primary responsibility. I have not settled on one yet but I have some ideas. That aside, these are some of the projects I will start/have started at site:

-       Weekly office hours

-       A “pamphlet project” where I use students in the English Club and the Anti-Aids/HIV club to make educational pamphlets in English and Kinyarwanda to pass out to villagers at the Saturday market. I would like to thank my Uncle Dave for sending me the paper to do this!

-       Using Appropriate Projects (check them out! INCREDIBLE RESOURCE!) I plan to install hand-washing stations at my school and the primary school.

-       Commit to teaching the Primary School teachers

-       A new Books For Africa shipment is also in the works

The last thing I want to share about IST and my Rwandan life is this: PCVs are the finest people in the world. I have been surrounded by outstanding people in my life but never have I been with a group of such kind, good-intentioned people. Their hearts are so big that I admire and adore everyone single one of them and adore beyond words. If you’ve caught my smiling recently, it was probably because I am so in love with my colleagues. Or because it’s 6:30 pm and children are screaming “Good-a morning teacher!”

1. My Rwandan boyfriend! just kidding I'm not a shuga mami.

2. My students marching through town during our school's Genocide Commemoration Week

3. This was the trench for installing a fiber optic cable to provide my village with wireless. Maybe next they can give the villagers electricity and running water. 

 

4. My students at our commemoration ceremony.