This is a blog of my daily interactions, or what I like to
call “bite se Penny we.” This is not pronounced “bite Penny” but rather “beetah
say Penny way”. Italics indicate phrases translated from Kinyarwanda to
English.
Scenario One:
Child to other children: Look
the white person is coming.
Child: Good-a morning.
Me: Good afternoon.
Child: fine thank you teacher.
Me: um…
Child: when will you
come visit us?
Me: where do you live?
Child: up there on the
hill.
Me: (scanning the hill with dozens of houses). Oh. I will come.
Scenario Two:
Student and Jehovah’s Witness: Ah sister. How are you?
Me: I am fine. How are you?
Student: No matter, no matter. When are you coming to visit
us?
Me: Where?
Student: There at the kingdom of Jehovah’s Witness.
Me: I am not coming.
Student: so maybe you will come?
Me: No. I am never coming. I am Catholic.
Student: So you will try.
Me: No. I cannot. Ok see you!
Student: Ok see you Tuesday at the meeting [of Jehovah’s
Witness].
Scenario Three:
(Colleagues laughing and saying something about Amanda. They are either talking about me
or bread but nine times out of ten it is me.)
Me: What?
Male colleague #1: They are saying that you cannot be late
or your fiancé will find other girls.
Me: Yes, that is possible.
Male colleague #2: That is why you must have others in
Rwanda like me or Gerald.
Me: ha ha (awkward… so I open my locker and expose the
picture of my fiancé to the staff room)
Male colleague #3: This is your fiancé? Ah how he is big.
Male colleague #4: It’s psychology. Small girls like big
men.
Female colleague: So you will have medium children.
Scenario Four:
Child: Something small
for my wrist? *
Me: What did I say?...
I said NO.
Child: Something small
to wear?
Me: You’re not going
to greet me?
Child: good-a morning.
Me: good morning.
Child: fine thank you teacher.
* think carefully before giving a Rwandan child a friendship
bracelet
Scenario Five:
Rwandan boy/man: Good morning teacher. How are the news?
Me: The news are fine.
Rwandan: I have a question.
Me: Yes?
Rwandan: My English is very poor. How can one find English
books*
Me: I do not know.
Rwandan: but what advices can you give me to find those
things?
Me: Go to Kigali.**
Rwandan: ah but it is very expensive. One must first find
money to go to Kigali.
Me: Sorry. It is not my job to help you find this. My job is
to teach…
*can be replaced with learn English, school fees,
scholarship, pen pals, computers or a plane ticket to America.
** listen to the radio, go on the school’s wireless
internet, etc.
Scenario Six:
Rwandan woman: Look at
the white person.
Rwandan woman #2: I
see her.
Rwandan woman #1: She
is wearing…
(Women stare)
Me: Good morning.
Rwandan woman #1: Yes.
Rwandan woman #2: eeEEEeeeh.
Rwandan woman #3: Eh!
She knows Kinyarwanda!
Scenario Seven: (not daily but bi-weekly)
Construction worker at market: Hey look, it’s my girlfriend!
(Men laughing)
Me: Hello! What’s up.
(Men cheering)
Scenario Eight:
Old woman: (takes me hand) Muraho umukobwa. Hello girl.
Me: Muraho neza. A
nice hello to you.
Old woman: Jesus save
you.*
Me: Yes, thank you.**
Old woman: How is the
news, how is the news?
Me: It is good.
Old woman: Are you
strong?
Me: Yes, thank you.
Old woman: Strength
strength.
Me: yes.
Old woman: May you
have many husbands.
Me: I will accept
them.
Old woman: (still holding my hand) May god save you.***
Me: Yes. ** Have a
nice day.
* This is an approximation of some greeting about God.
**This is a culturally unacceptable response but I do not
know the correct one.
*** Again, some approximation of a blessing
Scenario Nine
(Opening my locker, again my colleagues notice the picture)
Colleague: Amanda I think this is your cousin?
Me: No it is my fiancé.
Colleague: Ah! You must buy a strong bed!
Me: (too flustered to comment)
Colleague: And you are saying you only want two children? I
am telling you you must have MANY children.
